My Prostate Exam

The other day I went for a physical. It has been a while.

I mentioned yesterday that I have long battled anxiety.

In my 30’s it manifested in me being a hypochondriac. Being able to surf the web did not help. It was way too easy to look up all the diseases I thought I had!

Let’s go to wikipedia…

“Hypochondriacs become their symptoms. … “Many of the symptoms that hypochondriacs feel are often physical sensations caused by anxiety or depression that can go along with hypochondria. The constant worrying can release harmful stress hormones and do real physical damage.”

I am now a reformed hypochondriac who avoids doctors.

It seems that blood tests cover most of the physical which makes sense to me and so bing bam boom the physical was over. I told the doctor (a lady) that my wife wanted me to have a colonoscopy. She asked me if we were fighting…(ok I made this part up).

She brought up the dreaded prostate question and asked if I wanted one. I started sweating.

First off…who the hell wants a prostate exam!

Next thing you know all I could think about was tweeting. There is something really wrong with me, but that is for another doctor.

I will say doctors are underpaid!

I am not sure why this part of the physical took FOUR hours but she did say everything felt fine.


Also published on Medium.