Howie’s Plan for Dow 30,000…VIX 3… and $300 Gold

On Friday, the markets were in a panic. As my pal The Fly was perfectly explaining…an epic bubble was at hand in ‘NO RISK’.

A few days ago (22 hours to be exact), it seems like a few years, my headline declared Dow ZERO and $6,000 gold.

Nineteen hours ago I posted an Instagram of me jogging with the Dow down 200 and a headline that said, the media had gotten too bearish.

We have since rallied 500 points.

Check out the ‘Swiss Franc‘ (that is a 2 month 40 percent move in a CURRENCY).

Nothing has changed. Everything has changed.

The whole world is addicted to headlines. It’s quite fun if you know how to rewrite them (see Jon Stewart) and profitable if you know how to read them (Many on Stocktwits). If only I had the time.

Luckily Nouriel Roubini, CNBC economists and Paul Krugman have a plan and what seems like endless free time. Their plan works in a world of ‘ceteris paribus’. It’s ‘textbookitis’.

Steve Jobs threw out the textbooks. He hooked us on screens.

Twitter was a pivot.

Amazon just had gynormous vision and got the capital.

We need some vision. We need leadership. We need common sense. We need some baby steps. We need a pivot. We need a little luck now too.

You make your own luck though.

My thoughts…

As Thomas Friedman says…we could use a little truth…ie leadership.

The markets could probably stand to be open just two or three days per week. Fuckkkkk Wall Street. Fuckkkkkkk business TV. It’s not business. It’s 99 percent nonsense. NOBODY will miss it that matters.

Banks and Investment Banks can use the time to get back to what they were chartered to do, raise capital and lend. Three days a week is plenty of time to make markets and trade.

Traders will save commissions, investors will be able to think straight and capital will become more efficient.

Increase Forex Leverage to 1000 times. I think people that are going to implode, should be allowed to implode faster and most forex is done by foreigners anyway. Screw them.

Yes, traffic to some of my investments will suffer. I am willing to sacrifice.

In return, I want high speed rail. I want it everywhere. You should too. Fuckkkkkkk the auto companies. Unionize this! Lay some tracks.

I want some badass airports. I want every terminal in the United States to look like Virgin’s terminal at SFO. Candy stores, Dentists, Pinkberry’s and ton’s of room for local startups to pitch and show off their products. I want that shit by 2013. Tops.

I want Best Buy to be shuttered. Wal Mart too. Let’s speed up this Amazon winning thing. Steamroll the ground and build parks.

Every mall should be repurposed. I need an Apple Store, a Kayak travel experience store, a Lego store, a Pinkberry, A Stocktwits Superstore, a Mint personal finance genius bar, and even a Microsoft store so we can stretch out a little when opening our Apple products and setting them up.

Let’s get a little tough on toursim and travel.

Vancouver is nice and all, but should’t all that Asian money buying gold stocks and glass condo’s come to California. It’s the same travel time and yet we are losing to a city that has rain 300 days a year.


As I told friends in LA, California’s tagline should be ‘Fuck Vancouver, We Want High Speed Rail’.

All kidding aside we need California back from the brink real fast.


  1. Prepster411 says:

    Yes. We could all use a little truth:-the value of money is not constant-the value of the money in your country is at the whim of politicians
    and  bankers not determined by  impersonal, natural, or
    fundamental market forces.-most, if not all, markets are rigged against average investors-sometimes “staying in cash” is not safe at all

    Bring on the high-speed rail!

  2. ivanhoff says:

    I don’t know what you’re drinking (the NZT pill from Limitless?), but your writing has never been so good and insightful. This is Howard from 2007. Thanks for sharing. 

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